Hot As Hell

 

I drink a lot of Starbucks coffee. I like the Sumatra blend. Doesn't have much acid and the beans come from shaded groves of coffee trees high in the lush mountains of Indonesia where, at night, little coffee fairies run across each bean and sprinkle them with magic dust so they ripen perfectly. Indonesia tigers roam the plantations, fertilizing the soil to bring out the full bodied taste of Sumatran coffee.

 

My question, and I encourage all coffee drinkers to take the challenge for themselves, is why, when you order a tall coffee to go in one of those white cardboard cups with a brown band around the middle, is the coffee closing in on the surface temperature of the sun. I take a careful sip of a brew that could melt down gold bullion.

 

Why is it so hot?

 

I always get a cup of ice cubes on the side, find somewhere to dump the full to the brim brew down to sea level, and then drop in the ice cubes to lower the temp.

 

I don't want to wait around for six hours waiting for coffee to cool off. I want it now. There must be a way they can lower the temperature of the coffee two or three times below that of burning lava because that's the feeling I get when I slurp carefully.

 

When I make coffee at home, in a good coffee maker, it's nowhere near the temperature of fresh coffee brewed in a Starbucks store. So if it's not too much to ask, could you make it a little less hot, even a degree or two? My tongue, lips, and the inside of my very sensitive mouth, would be grateful. I'll keep buying your coffee, grind it up, and brew it at home. Its tastes great and isn't scalding. But you take your life in your hands if you order a Venti to go with a lid on it. Whatever you do, don't let the lid pop off and splash it anywhere on your exposed skin. If you do that, you'll be driving to the emergency room to get your burned skin medical attention. I know. I've done it, and it wasn't fun. I never got my morning buzz either. Just a bunch of emergency personnel tending to my seared flesh. Not the best way to start your day.