Well, well, well. It's the end of the month and time for law enforcement to get those ticket quotas in before the first of next month rolls around.

You're not fooling anybody. The intrusive seatbelt law, which protects no other motorist other than the driver and the passenger inside their car from floating in slow motion into the airbags, is a federally sponsored ruse for state and local communities to grab much needed revenue at the end of the fiscal month. There'll be more speed traps, more cruisers parked on the sides of  the roads, radar guns is hand, and of course eagle eyed officers on the lookout for scofflaws not wearing their seat belts.

Look. This isn't NASCAR. We're not racing around an oval banging each other’s bumpers. This isn't the Grand Prix where sleek multi-million dollar Ferraris navigate road courses at two hundred plus miles an hour. This is Mr. and Mrs. Average Citizen with cash in their pockets going about their business, on their way to or from work, keeping up with the flow of traffic, and watching their rear views for a chance to switch lanes. They might be going five or ten miles an hour over the speed limit, not because they mean to, but because everybody else is. Go any slower than that and people get pissed. If you're going too slow, you're more likely to cause an accident than prevent one.

I've seen officers standing alongside stoplights, arms folded, and cruisers nearby, waiting to catch someone not wearing a seatbelt. Aren't there bank robberies, convenience store thefts, and other crimes dangerous to the community that needs your stewardship? We know that the only reason for a seat belt law is to qualify for federal funding for roads as well as additional income for budget shortages. Who put you in charge of guarding my life? I understand that if I posed a threat to others, then yes, the seat belt law might need to be enforced. But if I crack up, hit a tree, go off a bridge, or have any other driving mishap, the only reason for me to be wearing a seatbelt is to prevent injury to me and me alone, not other motorists. It's my life that's at stake and I did not authorize you, the local county Mounties and state or federal governments to hover over me like a protective parent does a child. Why isn't there a law mandating I wear skid proof flip flops to prevent slipping on wooden floors when I get out of the shower? How come parents aren't ordered to put life preservers on babies and young children when giving them baths? And of course, my favorite argument that if wearing seat belts is such a big ass deal, why not make us wear full face helmets as well?

The seat belt law is unabashed extortion. You know it and I know it. And if you won't dump the law then get rid of those Orwellian public service announcements, voiced with a rough, scolding, demanding command that reminds us to Click It or Ticket, one of the dumbest, juvenile catch phrases I've ever heard. We don't need your omniscient presence guarding our individual lives and liberties. Go after the bad guys. That's what we pay you for, not to take money out of our pockets because spendthrift politicians need to add more booty to the budget.