Neighborhood Fireworks. Enough.

You win, neighbors.  Your late night/early morning fireworks sessions around this time of year have broken me.  As someone who gets up at 4 a.m. for an early morning radio show, your Neanderthal fascination with bright and shiny things that go "boom" have woken me up and cost me so many hours of sleep that I now have now recourse but to scold and insult you.

Yes, I know certain fireworks in this state are legal and you have every "right" to light them off.  But there are also noise ordinances that any reasonable person should be expected to observe.  You want to light off your little pyrotechnics as a grown man or woman and potentially blow your face or fingers off at, say, 9 p.m. when it gets dark, I may not be happy, but go for it I guess.  You do it at 10 p.m., I start getting a little more irritated.  11 p.m., I have just entered REM sleep and you jarred me awake from it, and I'm p*ssed.  Why couldn't you have pulled this sh*t two hours ago?  Now, any loud, booming thing lit after midnight, and you're just a self-centered, childish douchebag who knows nothing of empathy for those who have to get up the next day and work for a living while you sleep until noon when you wake up from a hangover.

Aren't the municipal fireworks displays enough?  That seems like a perfectly fine way to celebrate our nation's independence and the sacrifices of our beloved military.  It is right to celebrate and recognize that.  And there are SO many fireworks displays going on in every city, that you could see several every July 4 season and get your fireworks fix.  So why do you then have to go home and drag out your own personal supply which you may very well be too stupid to operate safely, and which you sometimes operate illegally using unapproved fireworks, and put on your own inferior fireworks show?  You are just annoying neighbors, scaring the sh*t out of babies, small children, and dogs, and keeping hard-working, taxpaying citizens up all night for your asinine moron shenanigans.

So please, please rethink, if not lighting off fireworks entirely due to the inherent danger, the time of night at which you do it.  I experienced a cacophony of exploding fireworks at 1:23 a.m. just today.  A-holes.  If you're one of the a-holes, I hope you take heed to what I've said.

Your "celebration" is not as important as my sleep.

Paul and Al

Paul and Al

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